My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
