they need to just BURY HIM!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
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I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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