if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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