its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
