More tranny stories later!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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