508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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