I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
