i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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