My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
