no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
well you can't waste a boner
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Randomize
