Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
