There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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