Non-Jews are for practice
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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