is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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