so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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