Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
