she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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