Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
