Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
