when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize