Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
