when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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