week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Randomize
