She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so let's talk penis.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
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