u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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