you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
