Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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