yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Randomize
