Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
