ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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