So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My cat gives me a boner
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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