I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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