we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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