the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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