god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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