he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
