I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im drinking this country out of the recession.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
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