Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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