you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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