Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
