so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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