On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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