Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
