I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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