don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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