you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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