the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
