I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
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I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
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seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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