Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize