My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
