Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
