bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
