I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
