you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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