That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
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