we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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