i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
time to smoke my breakfast
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
