I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
