I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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