found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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