i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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