you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
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and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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